愛我還是她??? 陶喆

好喜歡的一首歌!!!
歌詞讓人好難過....
愛情應該是兩個人的事,
當多了一個人的時候,
一切一切就變得很複雜,
總有一個人會受傷....

夢遊症!!

媽媽說我的夢遊症昨晚又發作了!!
已經有幾年的時間沒有再夢遊,
媽媽說昨晚半夜, 看到我一個人站在漆黑的房間裡,
對著沒有開電源的手提電腦打字,
看著那一個黑漆漆的營幕發呆...
好可笑, 對吧??
我也忘記了,
我還以為自己是在睡覺中被媽媽吵醒去接電話,
原來我已經站起來了嗎??
原來那一刻我是站著嗎??
我忘記了, 真的忘記了!!
可是我還記得我有跟他聊了一會電話,
可是今天他再問我的時候,
我居然不記得昨天答過什麼,
哎呀, 是壓力太大啦吧??
還是因為不夠睡??
每一天都睡不好, 讓我心情好差!
睡的時候又發惡夢, 又常常半夜抽筋札醒,
肚子好痛, 沒有胃口吃東西,
只有在人的面前才會吃一點,
躲在房裡讀書到半夜也不會去吃些什麼...
瘦了, 很高興,
雖然沒有機會去出海玩,
不可以去遊船河, 可是....
能夠瘦起來就已經很好啦!!

看到了LV的一個新包包, 好想買,
不過這個月花了太多錢,
信用卡又刷爆了!! 學費還沒有交齊!!
天呀!! 我的錢去了哪??
股票快點升起來, 中中六合彩!!!
神呀!! 讓我變得更幸運, 更幸福好不好??
我很單純啦, 只要讓我獨一擁有一樣東西就好啦,
我從小到大都不喜歡跟別人一起分享!!!
我不是自私, 只是我明白天下沒有一種東西可以平均分配,
總有一邊多, 一邊少,
多的一個會開心快樂, 但又害怕有一天失去,
少的一個會每天傷心流淚, 卻又夜夜盼望!!!

好累....
喝點酒, 然後就去睡啦!!
在25.5度的最佳溫度下,
一個人喝著淡淡的威士忌,
聽著冷氣機運行的聲音,
這就是寂靜了,
她們都在睡,
沒有人知道半夜的我在幹什麼...
連我也不知道自己在幹什麼...

信任

當一個你一直相信的人,
告訴你不要相信任何人,
就連他的話你也不要相信的時候,
你會怎樣???
你會認為他是在暗示他一直在騙你嗎?
你會認為他是提醒你不要太單純相信人嗎?
你會認為他是真的希望你不要相信人嗎?
我不知道, 只知道有一個人,
不只一次, 叫我不要相信任何人,
也叫我不要相信他,
我不明白他的意思,
但我希望他不是一直在騙我!!

Message Board spoil??

Is my message board have problem?
Or I click the wrong button?
All comments in my blog are gone...
Gone with the wind...
I don't know what happen,
I lost all the comments,
I lost all the good and bad words in my blog,
I have no back up,
awful!!!

I lost everything....

Painful!!!

These few days, my stomach keep so painful again.
I don't know what happen,
just everytime when I feel pain,
I will faint, and almost fall down,
keep cold sweats...
Scare?? Yup, I am scare about this.
But what can I do?
Nothing, because even I ask the doctor,
he still can't tell me what is the matter.
He just told me that I am too stress.
I totally istrust his professional skill.
Is it because I didn't eat enough these few days?
Or because I ate too much candy?
Last night I slept for 6 hours,
Yes, I studied until 12:30,
then I gave up, went to bed.
Keep bad dream all the night,
a weird dream that I went to the supermarket,
and buy 益力多!!!
HAHAHAHAH!
Yes, a quite a long time I did not drink that!
I really need a holiday,
I must go some place to relax after the exam.
Of coz I wish that my honey can come with me!
Did not see him for few days,
I miss him so much!!!
I miss his tempature,
I miss his big kiss,
I miss you so much Honey!!!

Hurry Up!!!

Damn it, really lack of time.
The exam is coming,
but I still not yet finish the book.
I still have 2 assignments on hand.
And I only have 2 weeks to prepare my Exam!!
Want to cry.....
Jesus, please wake me up,
and give me wisdom to study!
I must sleep less.
Sleeping 4 hours per day is seems too much for me.
I have to spend more time to study!
Yup!!!
Work Hard!

Bad luck???

Some people said I am a bad luck girl.
Will bring bad luck to everyone which I being close with.
I can turn down someone's career, life,
I can make the stock marketing fall,
I can spoil someone's ideal job,
I can close a shopping mall....

Am I really that bad luck?
Am I really 腳頭唔好??

I am so afraid if I am really so bad luck!
It means no matter who I close with,
I will only make them worst....

If I am, then I should being alone?
I should avoid everyone?
I should live in a island without human?
I should make no friend?
I should being single until I die?
I should not drive car?

I don't want to be that horrible.
Am I don't want to be alone.
I believe in God, but everyone beside me keep blaming me.
I feel stress, I feel nervous,
I want to cry out loud!

I pray to God and ask him to make me being lucky girl.
Let me be everyone's lucky star.
Bring faithful, happiness to everyone.
Will God makes my dream come true?
I think, beside praying,
there is nothing else I can do...

RIght this sadness moment,
I really wish my honey can beside me,
and hug me tight,
I miss him, and also my best friend Janet...
Where are you guys??
I need you....
...
...
..

..

No need to say sorry!

There is nothing wrong.
And I never blame for anyone!
As I always said,
If today God need to take back anything from me,
I won't regret, and complain.
Because I have already enjoy the moment that I am in it.
I have the greatest memories.
I did laugh, I did smile!
No need to say sorry to me.
Things won't be so easy to spoil just because of some email!

死

在我身邊一直沒有太了解死亡這一回事,
就算是親人的離去也因為年紀太少而不明白,
傷痛也沒有太多!!
但昨天竟然有人跟我開了一個天大的玩笑,
說自己死了!!!!
那一刻, 我不知怎麼去反應,
我該報警嗎?
我該找朋友幫忙確定嗎?
我該打電話到跟他住的那個人那裡嗎?
跟上一次的情況一樣,
我沒有辦法可以聯絡上任何人,
我不認識他的親人, 朋友,
不清楚他的住址,
報警的話, 要憑記憶去幫警察帶路,
這會延誤救活他的機會嗎?
一句" 我把他殺了! 他被我割喉!"
這是什麼意思?
你們每一個人都要把自己的生命來跟我開玩笑嗎?
每一個人都要用他的生命來捉弄我, 要脅我嗎?
難道你們從來都不明白, 不用以死威脅我也很緊張你們嗎?
死不可怕, 因為你死了, 你看不到別人為你流眼淚!
傷痛的人不是你, 哭得死去活來的不是你!
為什麼要以死來捉弄人?
這樣的玩笑未免太大了!
一個是這樣, 另一個又是這樣!!
為什麼每一個人也愛以死來開玩笑?
當我看到這一個短訊, 我嚇呆了!!
我打了很多次電話給你, 卻一直聽不到回音,
空洞的電話筒裡一次又一次的把我電話掛掉!
我多害怕你被變態的人殺了!
我甚至換了衣服, 想走到你那遠在幾個山頭的家去確認你是否真的被他殺!
你是白痴! 你是低能!
你很無聊! 怎麼可以這樣捉弄我!
你們都要把我迫瘋嗎?
你們是一黨的嗎?
在我懂事以來, 從沒有經歷過最重要的人離開的感覺,
早幾個月, 我曾經因為以為失去了一個朋友而哭過要死,
最後確認她並沒有死, 而且過得比我好,
我釋懷了, 但也因此沒有力氣再做她朋友,
因為我被徹徹底底的擊碎了!
這一次, 我又再笨笨地以為他慘遇不幸,
正在失控地不知如何是好,
原來又再一次被騙了,
是我笨, 太容易相信別人嗎?
還是我太害怕有重要的人死去?
一邊寫日記, 眼淚還是一邊地流!
喝著濃濃的白蘭地, 努力去控制自己的情緒!
我想像不到如果真的有人死了,
有重要的人離開我啦,
那我怎麼辦?? 可以做什麼?
我討厭別人要開這一種玩笑,
也討厭從別人口中告訴我某某死了!!!
你們這麼愛玩, 有一天, 如果我告訴你們我死了,
你們會相信嗎?
狼來了的故事聽多了,
說謊的不是我, 可是, 如果我慘遭不幸,
你們還是會為我擔心嗎?
我想不會!!!
因為你們都會以為我跟你們一樣,
都愛拿自己的命來捉弄人!!!
我的心很痛, 幾個月內, 遇到兩次同樣的玩笑!
我睡不著!! 也許酒精可以讓我放鬆一點!!
眼睛腫腫的, 明天要化一個smoky eye 上班了!!

記著~~
死亡並不痛苦, 痛苦的只有仍然生存的人!

我們結婚吧!!

這兩天看到雜誌強勁的宣傳,
讓我留意起這一部台灣電視劇!!
帥帥的男主角, 搞笑又溫馨的劇情...
於婚禮當天逃婚的人,
最後又會愛上了誰???

有情人最後可以終成眷屬嗎??
苦戀的人會被接納嗎??
付出了又可否真的有回報??

在讀書的同時, 我也要多花一點時間去看看這一部電視劇!
感受一下愛情的美好! 戀愛的甜蜜!!

金句1

因為有太多的過去, 難堪的回憶,
女生才會對未來充滿不安全感,
看著前路, 總覺得一片漆黑, 沒有未來....

AGHHHHH!!

So funny that after my last blog,
someone email me and said sorry to me.
I was so surprise with the email,
coz I don't think is she who want to snatch my BOYFRIEND.
But after reading her 2nd email,
I understand what she means.
She misunderstand that I was wrote about her who sms me at mid nite.

I am just focusing on this case,
the stupid girl sms me and tell me she wants my bf.
I am not talking about anyone who keep sms me last few months,
to ask me be friend with her,
forgive her, trust her.
That is past already.

And I talked to my BOYFRIEND today,
he said I am so stupid to try to contact this fucking boring girl.
RIght, I should not need to mind what this fat ass's sms.
IF my bf can be so easy snatch by others,
means that we are not stable,
means that I am not his only one,
means that he is not my Mr. Right.

So what should I scare for?
I pray to God today,
I talk to jesus that,
if now, he need to take back all the bonus he gave me before,
and let me be zero again,
I will still thank god,
at least I tried the sweetness,
at least I have the memories.
There is no lost,
but I will feel a little bit poor and bad.
Because what I wish I can have suddenly gone by wind.

But I won't blame anyone,
I won't angry anyone!
God will give me all the best things that I deserve.

Let's see what happen 2 days later.
Let's see can that girl take away my bf!

感覺真的不同了!!

看著最近拍的照片, 感覺我的臉真的不同了,
不單單是由別人告訴我,
連我自己也看得出來,
不知道是哪裡不同,
可是, 就是有一種看起來怪怪的感覺!!
笑起來不再像從前一樣無邪!
是我最近太多壓力嗎?
是我的腦袋在想太多了嗎??
為什麼跟以前不同了???

Looking at my pictures,
I felt I look different than before.
No need to be mentioed by others,
I can see it from my eyes.
I don't know what the hell is the differents.
Just feel so weird.
My smile is different, not so pure as before.
Is it I am having too much stress?
Is it becasue I think too much with my stupid brain?
Why there is a different?

我希望我是快樂的,
我希望我是由心底裡笑出來的!!

I wish that I am happy,
and my smile is coming from my heart!!