The Fourth day!

Sick again. Keep vomit these two day.
Don't know what happen.
No need to worry, I am not the Mother of God.
I won't suddenly to become pregnant without sex life.
Maybe too stress. Maybe not enough sleep.
Fainting all the time.
Don't even have the power to walk and stand.
What happen to me?

My mobile keeps ringing,
but I don't even have the energy to pick it up.
I know who's calling me.
I am not avoiding her.
Just I am really tired,
I don't want to temper to anyone.
Over 20 sms not yet reply.
Over 40 missed call.
6 hours marathon meeting everyday.
10-11 working hours.
wake up at 06:00.
HAHAHAHAH!!
Soon become super woman.

I enjoy this life, although it really makes me want to cry.
But really so happy that I can work like dog to fulfill my life.

To everybody, please don't try to ask me out before June.
Because I really don't have time.
Please don't stress me, and keep questioning me.
Because my brain was hanged already.
Trying so hard to become good girl.
Trying so hard to be a good girlfriend.
Yes, I am in love again.
But I feel so stressful when with him.
He is nice guy. He treat me so good too.
But I just feel so stressful when with him.
Maybe because he is too clever than me.
Seems like I can never reach his target.
Seems like I am always a naughty little girl in his heart.
I don't know.
But if next time when you all see me dating with a guy.
Then you will know who is he.
He is the fortunest person in the world,
because he have me!!
HAHAHAHA!!!
Yes, I am the stupid princess.

New Job!! New Life!! New Challenge!!!

Today is my third day of new company.
Yup, I changed my job to a new position.
MARKETING EXECUTIVE!!!
Sound like a very high position, right?
But honestly, I am just a small potato in here.
The first day here already have a big project to handle.
A very large China Expo. need to be settle down within a week.
And until yesterday, still have many things that need to arrange.
Stressful? Yes!
Helpless?? Yes!!
Exhausted??? Yes!!!
A lot of documents on my desk now.
And I need to go through all products in this company,
to make sure I understand what we are doing.
Don't have the mood to eat, and sleep,
I feel so stress!!!

I am not hating this job,
I love it!
I love this company, because I really can learn a lot.
But I have no confidence, because I am so stupid.
I need someone to teach me how to do,
but in this company, everyone are very busy.
They have a lot of works need to do.
So I must try do finish all the stuff by myself.
Anyway, I won't give up so early.
I will work hard.
I have power from God, and from someone.
Thank God, you gave me this chance to work like dog.
I will treasure this.

Depressed....

Is hard to make people believe me,
and is hard to make me believe someone.
What can ensure he is really treating you good?
What can ensure he is not foolishing you?
What can make him believe you've already try your best?
What can make him know you are serious?
Nothing, it seems only exchange your life with him,
is the only way to make him believe he is so important for you.
I am not talking about someone who really did it.
I just feel so sad that no one treasure my good.
No one appreciate for what I have done.
I don't need a compliment,
I just need you understand I really try my best to treasure you.
Please don't doubt me anymore.
I can see that you mistrust me via your eyes and voice.

Hate Raining Day

Uneasy day for me to go shopping.
Woke up at 07:45am.
Ready to go to the hospital to get my body check report.
Everythings fine. No dangerous signal from my body.
Thanks God.

Want to go shopping, but holy shit.
The sky turned black at 10:40am.
Red Cloud signal!!!
Looked at the sky, thick cloud.
Black sky, everything turn dark.
Rain like dog shit!!
I hate it.
It made my trousers all wet!!
Glad that I did bring out my umbrella!
But it was too small.
I still got wet!

I really don't like rainy day.
It turn down my mood too.
I was so glad that I can go shopping and relax.
But it rain!!! And red cloud!!!
At last, I went to some big mall!
Thanks God, I still can find nice pair of shoes, and pants!
I have new clothes for new job!!
Thanks God.

I really hope that my first day of new job will be nice!
I wish it would be a sunny day!
No Traffic Jam!
No accident!!
Must pray to god!

There are too many friends got marry or engage around me.
Although still have some just broke up with their lovers.
But I still wish that I can have a wonderful relationship too.
I am looking forward to find someone really love me,
and want to have a future with me.
Still waiting for it.
I know God will give me the BEST!!!

Must be a good girl!

Spent nine hours to study yesterday,
Thank God, at last I finished the first chapter of business law.
Really tough for me, because I didn't really study over 7 years.
And when I am still in secondary school,
I only concentrated to play and clubbing.
Now, I need to catch the chance and really upgrade myself.

Tonight, I must spend some time to study too.
Can't watch too much TV.
But I am afraid I will getting fat.
Because when I stressed and sleepy.
I need to eat a lot of snack to keep wake me up.
I ate a lot last night when I study until 2am.
This morning when I woke up,
I can still feel my stomach full of chips.
HAHAHAHAH!!!!
I can't stop myself to eat when I feel stressful.

I found out that a nice cartoon of Japanese.

You can find more episode in YouTube.
Really ugly drawing,
but I don't know,
I love cartoon.
It makes me feel relax.
It makes me forget my problems now.

So wish that someone can hug me now.
I really need some space to relax.

Unlimited time needed!!

Lack of time.
Although soon I will change to a new job,
which only work 5 and a half day.
But I still feel that not enough time to study.
Already reject to go out so much with friends.
But there's someone which I can't reject to go out with.
I want to cry when I know my first assignment is coming.
I want to cry because I still not yet finish my notes.
I want to cry because I am too stupid to remember all the summaries.
Yes, I know I am weak in time management.
I know I spend too many time to study other people's things.
I spend too many time to online and watch TV.
Already not enough sleep.
Only slept 4-5 hours everynight,
and have a lot of nightmare.
Always wake up at mid night with sweat.....

Too stress, I hope someone can understand me,
and no more put stress on me,
and stop occupy my time.
I really need more time to study.
I need time to do my own things.
God, please help me!!

Pray Lord!!

My angel's boyfriend's Mum was in a accident last night.
She got a car crash!! Still in the hospital now.
Poor that she was alone in the empty room,
because her family, son, husband are all at the oversea.
No one beside her, she need to stand for the painful alone.
I don't know her, but I feel sad too.
My angel feel sad too.
She said she treat her like her mum.
Because she so take care of my angel,
always dinner with her,
make soup for her.
Angel want to go to Aust to visit her,
but too bad she can't take a leave.
She cried. She depressed.
I don't know how to make her happy,
because I have a lot of things need to solve too.
I have too many shit beside me.
I really can't find out a single mintues to think of a joke.
All I can do is just sms her, and phone with her.
I will pray god too. Hope everything will be alright.

It was so scare to knew someone which knew you more than yourself.
What I am talking about is these few months,
I knew someone. He works with me, met me everyday.
These few weeks, we talk a lot.
He told me a lot of things about my character.
Unbelieveable, he seems knew me so much.
He can point out a lot of my ideas.
He can point out what I don't like to face with.
He can said out what I am avoiding with.
And he can told me why I am always the loser.
Very scare. I need to talk to him to know who I am.
I need to ask him what am I doing right now.
Isn't it so scare and horrible??
I don't know who I am and need someone tell me.
I don't know what I want and need someone show me.
I spend a lot of time with him these few days,
he older than me so much.
He told me a lot about his past too.
He taught me a lot. Seems like my pockets full of money now.
And at last, he ask me what do I want to get from him.
I was speechless. My mind so mess.
Thousand of idea pop up in my mind.
But I can't speak a word.
I still don't know what I want.
Then he said he need me to answer him when I know who I am, what I want.
Yes, this is the most biggest question I am facing now.
WHO AM I?? WHAT I WANT?? WHAT I NEED?? HOW TO DO???

Secret Lover

What is secret lover?
That is someone we can sure not have result at this moment.
That is someone you can't have a normal relationship with.
That is your family, and friends were not really allow.
That is you can only love him in the dark.
That is you can only talk to when he is alone.
Is it poor??
I don't think so.
At least the feeling bewteen you and him is good.
Is it hard to keep?
I don't know.
At least you too will only have nice memory.
Is it means you can betray her?
I don't know.
But you can still have a normal relationship with other.
Is it stepping many boats?
I don't think so.
At least you are not playing her.
Is it so confuse?
I don't know.
At least you know he really love you just can't concentrate on you.
Will you still jealous?
Yes,
because you will jealous he can kiss and hug with other when you are not around.
will you lonely?
Yes,
because you will so wish he can spend every mintues to talk with you.
Will you angry?
Yes,
when you know he prefer a normal relationship with other
whether than try to have normal relationship with you.
Can you complain?
No.
Because your relationship with him is really hard to keep.
Can you ask him only belongs to you?
No.
Because you promise to be half of his lover.
Can he be you only lover after few years?
No one knows.
Let's try our best!

Nice TV program!!

Was watching this new season TV program.
Really not bad. Waiting to watch the GiGi Leung's version.
She act this program after she broke up with Ekin Cheung.
So touching when she talk about the relationship with him.
She also mention about her idea of LOVE.

She is pretty, tall, and clever.
She said she can love a person so deeply without reason.
She will so concentrate only on him.
But she also understand that when love was already faded out.
There is nothing she can do,
nothing she can do to keep someone to love her.
Sometime I feel she is a tough girl.
She love to control her life,
she love get what she want,
she need to be the winner.
Sometimes I feel she so poor,
she can't really get what she want,
she get hurts when no one around her.
But at least, she can face the truth,
she still believe in love.
I wish I can be stronger too.
Be independent!
Be strong!
Be happy!

I already forgive him!!

People around me kept saying my ex bf's bad word.
Said he is an asshole which not treat me good.
Said he not serious with me these few years.
Said he only know how to play and spend money like water.
Said he never have planning with me.
Said he so selfish that he don't know how to love people.
Friends,
I know you all so care about me.
I know you all so dislike him because he hurted me.
But please stop complain him.
Although he really hurt me.
Although he really not treat me so good these few years.
Although he don't know how to love me.
But, it was already past.
We've already broke up.
He is not that bad as you said.
He did make me happy.
He did make me laugh like crazy.
He did give me surprise.
He did romance me.
He did make me so pround.
He did make me so touching.
Yes, he don't know how to love me with my way.
But I really don't want anyone to hate him.
He is not that bad,
just he is not that into me.
Just we are not really suit for each other.
There's nothing wrong bewteen us.
Only because we don't have fate to be together forever.

I will still pray for him,
I hope he can find someone good in the future.
Who can make him give up everything,
and promise to spend the rest of his life with.

Life always so tough,
we can't get the prefect job which we dream of.
We can't love the one which we love the most.
We can't really get what we want,
only can get what people offer us!
But this is the truth,
this is life.
Wake up everyone,
don't dream anything.
Face the truth.

Things going smooth!!!

Yup, I resigned at my current company,
last day would be 22nd April.
Last few days I was still so worry about my future.
Cause I not yet find a new job,
even my part time night shift also not so stable.
But after I pray to god every night,
and SOMEONE pray for me too.
At last, I confirmed to change my part time job to full time.
Starting day from 1st May.
CONGRATULATION!!!
And last month, I worked some freelance job,
they will pay me within these week.
Things really going smooth now.

Although my current company still so mess,
and they are keep arguing everyday,
made everything small to big.
I don't know, I wish they can solve the problems soon.

Thanks God helping me all the time.
Thanks God sent me so many people help me in this period.
Thanks my angel always talk with me,
but don't make out more problem anymore la.

I really wish to have a better life now.
I wish I can really stand for a company over 1 year,
and gain some experience.
Then I can offer a better job.
And I wish I can go to Finland 5 years later.
And move to a big house with my sweetheart in the future.

Pray to God, Pray evething, everyday!

Depressed!!!

Just resigned my day time job,
last day would be on 22nd April.
There are a lot of things happen during this period.
Learnt a lot from this company,
I can't said this company is totally shit,
because at least, it show me how bitchy can someone be.
God ask us to forgive people,
I would like to forgive them too,
because they don't really know what they are doing,
and they don't have God beside them, protect them,
they need to use a lot of method to kill others,
then make themselves alive.
I will forgive you all,
forgive what you talk about me behide my back,
forgive what the lie u said on me,
forgive how many mistakes you pull to me.
I still wish this company can be more strong in the future.

My school life start, but I am not so happy,
because I am really stupid,
I can't understand the toturial,
I can't remember the things,
I spend over 3 hours a day to study,
but I can't even remember anything now.
I really want to cry,
how come I become so stupid?
Why??
Can anyone teach me?
Can anyone help me??
Sleep so less everynite,
not enough rest,
still sick, not yet recover.
God you are testing me?
I won't give up,
but it just seems too difficult for me.
EXHASUTED!!!
FREAKING ANGRY !!!

In this world, there are a lot of crazy people,
they will imagine you are his girlfriend,
or giving him chance to chase you.
They would believe you only treat them friend,
I mean normal friend which will only dinner or movie.
They will think that can kiss you whatever they want,
hold your hand, and touch your face!
How come nowaday, people become this shit?
You don't have mind?
Girls and Boys must be couple?
Cant only be friend?
Maybe your world too small,
make you only focuz on love and sex,
don't relaise FRIEND exist!!!

Back from Macau!!

What a crazy trip it was.
Ate a lot, played a lot.
We are crazy!!!!

Need to keep fit again,
not dare to look at myself in the mirror now!

Oh my University life started.
Too bad that I am really stupid,
I totally blank when reading the document,
feel sleepy in the tutorial!!
What the hell???
I need to work hard and pray to god!!

Father!!! Please give me the energy to study and work!!
Please wake me up when I fall asleep in the class!!
Please slap me when I fishing with the books!!!

I need to be good student,
try my best to finish whole course!
Yes, I know I am stupid,
no need anyone remind me!
But I should give myself some confidence.
Already wasted 25 years to play and sleep and eat,
now is the time to study and make my life wonderful!!!

Friends, please pray for me too,
please give me confidence,
please teach me if you know what I am studying.
Yes, I need help,
the first 2 subjects I am studying is quite boring,
ACCOUNTING AND BUSINESS LAW!!!
A lot of searchings, readings, actitvities,
God Bless Me!!!

Update Macau picture later when I have time.
Sorry that too busy with 2 jobs everyday,
and studying like dog when free,
that's why didn't blog everyday!
Will try my best to manage my time.

The L word!!!

Love to watch the drama now!!
~~ The L word ~~

A drama about lesbian and gay!
Really funny to know more about them,
want to know about their life style,
and how to make love with girls.

And there's a nice character inside!!
Katherine Moennig
How can someone be so COOL!!

Isn't she so cool and fashion??










How come she can so look like a guy?
I want to be as thin as her,
and be so cool like her!
But she is lesbian??
She is TB???
I don't know.
But in the drama, he sleep with different girls everynight,
so love each one, but just can't concenrate to be with one.
Is her real character also the same??
So interesting with her.
Can't stop watching that drama,
now in season 2. I need to finish it as fast as I can!!

How come so many Cute guy in Taiwan?

How come I can't see any nicer one on the street?
I go to Taiwan every 4 months,
but I never met a cute and lovely guy like Ng Chuen,
Wong Ton Shing, or this one,
蔡旻佑!!!

Cool, his eyes become a line when smile,
so cute, so lovely,
and he sang very well.

just like a girl, right??
But too white skin,
and seems like he so quiet,
will only read books and play volin when free at home.
No clubbing, No drink , No smoke,
HAHAHAH.
Boring life???
Kind of,
but simple is the best!!

~~ 寧靜 ~~

潮濕的空氣, 讓我已經有很久的時間沒有打開窗戶,
住在山頂的我, 一年中有一半的時間沒有拉開窗簾, 打開玻璃窗!
陽光很少照進來, 以前的我不用上班,
睡到自然醒, 從來沒有人會拉開窗簾,
讓暖暖的陽光喚醒我!
今天晚上, 難得終於可以停下來,
休息一下, 我把窗簾拉開,
把玻璃窗從內往外推,
微微的風吹拂著我的臉,
每五到十秒的涼風,
讓我好安靜.
把臉橫在窗框上,
試著讓每一個毛孔都感覺到那風的流動.

眼睛四處掃射, 看著窗前的大花園,
對面住的那一家人, 四周的山峰,
寥落的車輛, 閃爍的燈光從每一家的窗戶透出來,
這個時候, 很多人還未睡,
好像我一樣,
雖然經過一天的工作,
已經好累, 精疲力盡,
但仍然很想享受這片刻的寧靜.

聽著風吹動樹葉的沙沙聲,
車輛引擎的回轉聲,
不知名的蟲鳴聲,
這一刻,
我知道我是幸福的,
因為我可以聽到美妙的聲音,
看到世界的美好,
感覺到自己還有做事的能力,
面前的煩惱就交給天父幫我去解決吧!
我們都是愚昧的人,
唯有天父才有辦事的能力,
這一刻, 我只想好好的享受主賜給我的安寧,
感謝他帶給我的恩賜,
讓我有愛人的勇氣,
等待愛情來臨的耐性,
希望每一個看著這一篇文章的你們,
也學會珍惜主送給你這一份恩賜,
享受你的生命, 讚美你擁有的東西,
再忙碌也要打開窗戶,
呼吸一下新鮮的空氣,
聽聽大自然的聲音,
感覺一下你的心跳還是正常跳動!!

I don't have time!!!

Warning!!! Don't ask me did I do anything anymore,
cause I really don't have time,
No time to shit,
No time to dinner with family,
No time sleep,
No time to pick up my things at someone's home,
No time to see doctor,
No time to study,
No time to meet friends,
No time No time No time!!!

For those not really close friend,
please don't ask me out,
I really don't have time,
I am trying my best to start my new life,
Trying so hard to reborn.
I am fulfilling my schedule because I want to recover my hurts from someone!

People just keep bothering me,
making me angry,
are you nuts?
Don't try to make me angry,
cause I am not stupid,
and I won't let you do what you want!
I will reinforce!!
I am brave now, and I have God beside me!
I won't afraid of you~~~ Bastard!!!

My angel also keep bothering by someone,
some asshole hit my angel!
I really want to hold her hand,
and fly to somewhere else,
have a short holiday with her,
no one will disturb us,
and we just relax and drink like crazy!
Enjoy our peaceful moment,
then just forget all the problems here!!
Too bad that, we don't have chance!
Have chance, but no money!!
Have money then we don't have time!!
Yes, we are both busy!
Busy like dog! Work like dog !!
I want to sleep!!!
I want holiday!!!